Three pieces from a few years past. It was a dark time. No I don't want to talk more about that, thank you.
No spirit, no god
no power in this or any world
can give me what I want:
a problem no one can solve,
a petition whose answer must always be no.
Now I understand
that stony soil,
those terrible choices:
a desperate person will
But that was just fiction.
I shouted into the void,
and got no answer.
Our house is not so much haunted
the ghost of our home looming behind me,
settled heavy on my shoulders,
not a presence but an absence,
a lack like a missing limb.
I moved into the other room,
put away our photographs –
I need to change our passwords, I need to do so much –
a million things to avoid the flinch:
the fleeting, searing touch
of hope all of this was just a dream,
a terrible mistake the universe will realize
and I will wake to find you in my arms.
You are carved into my bones,
a space worn for you there where
you should be living.
Our angles fit together like
an organic puzzle,
You smoothed over my rough edges,
made a space for tender meat where
only sharp bones thrived.
Our hearts pound together like
a sinew snare,
Now I am all sharp edges,
broken bone and thorns and
Our hands stretch across the gap,